I was catchin' up with an old friend the other day, chewing the fat about this and that.  (Consider that phrase for a moment:  chewing the fat.)  This friend of mine mentioned the sad quality of the average diet in America, and most particularly in the otherwise beautiful state of Tennessee.  "They fry everything in lard there," he said.  Then he made a sarcastic remark about "deep fried Coke."

Now, the very idea of deep fried Coke struck me as so absurd for so many reasons that I doubled over laughing for darn near five minutes.  Holding my side, gasping for breath, I wiped the tears out of my eyes.  But when I could clearly see his face again, he was deadpan.  "No, it's a Real Thing.  There really is such a thing as deep fried Coke," he said.  I sat stunned for a second.  It turns out this ghastly concoction was first served at some state fair in Texas a few years back.  It consists of frozen Coca Cola breaded with cornmeal, deep-fried in fat, drizzled with Coke syrup, and topped with whipped cream and a cherry.  "The awful thing is," he added sheepishly, "it tastes pretty darn good."  I relayed this tidbit over the phone to my mom, now in her dotage long enough not to be surprised by much of anything.  She asked dryly, "Does it come in Diet?"

This topic of conversation has haunted me for several days.  Fried Coke... who knew?  There's been such a sharp increase in the cost of healthcare in the past thirty years, and diet is the biggest (pardon the expression) contributing factor.  Barrack Obama spoke to the AARP recently and said the current status of our health system means, "trillions of dollars in costs over the next couple of decades - trillions, not billions - but trillions of dollars in costs without anybody getting any better care." See, to my mind, that cost is in direct contrast against the steady decline in folks' personal accountability for the condition of their health.  They think that their well-being is up to the doctors.  Ha!  As if...

Obesity is at record levels, and so are a whole host of other very serious, even life threatening health problems that are almost all preventable.  So many folks don't make the connection between what goes into their mouths and how they feel throughout the day, let alone the condition they're in on the other side of 50.  Over consumption of deep fried Coke is a symptom of a huge and terrible problem - one that is incredibly easy to solve:  Don't eat that crap.

Let's skip the talk about fatty foods for now.  Just go with me on this.  I'm also going to put off any discussion of pesticides, preservatives, or lack of exercise.  Let's talk pop.  As a group, Americans drink 13.15 billion gallons of carbonated drinks every year.  That means individually, each American drinks 43.28 gallons of pop in a 12-month period.  That's about 462 cans of pop per person per year, or 16 ounces each day for every man, woman and child.  Now, I dunno about you, but somebody else is drinkin' my share.

Halitosis, Bunions and Impotence Notwithstanding...

A quick survey of health malfunctions attributed to drinking just one soda a day includes any and all of the following very expensive and utterly preventable detrimental conditions:  excess weight problems, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, renal failure, tooth decay, periodontal disease, gingivitis, infertility, recurring urticaria (rash), asthma, eczema, bladder cancer, acid reflux, digestive tract corrosion, bone calcium degeneration, suppressed immune system, caffeine addiction, sugar addiction, certifiable temporary psychosis, dysregulation of the brain's electrical system, suppressed iron metabolism, diminished nerve impulse transmission, and the ever-popular friggin' frivolous law suits filed by people whose brains are impaired by said neural dysregulation from drinking too damn much soda pop.  Mechanics use Coke to clean gunked up carburetors, careful not to spill a single drop on the fender because Coke will eat the paint right off.  Lord love a duck...

Not to mention the fact that the very corn used to produce the corn syrup in Coke can come from genetically altered plants, which everybody knows will cause you to grow an extra ear, leak spittle from your mouth, and habitually read the National Enquirer.  To protect your delicate sensibilities, I haven't even touched on the problems associated with consuming artificial sweeteners.  You can do your own homework on that one, thank you very much - I just ate.

How Being Well Can Make You A Millionaire

A recent study said current annual health spending per American is $7,110, expected to be $12,320 by the year 2015.  Healthcare spending is increasing 2.5% faster than our Gross Domestic Product.

Okay, so let's take a look at these numbers.  Let's take that low figure of $7,110 and assume 30 years of perfect health.  Now you've got some capital to work with.  We won't even factor in that 60% projected increase over the next 8 years.  Hell, let's leave out increases altogether.  So here's how that pencils out.  Invested over 30 years with a modest return of 5%, your take-away at the end of the period is $411,571.  Now... that's your savings after taxes.  You're lookin' at a seriously fat payday, basically free money, just for taking care of yourself.  As you might imagine, these numbers are even more interesting for a couple.  At the end of the same 30-year period, the two of you could reasonably expect to see $823,143 - again, after taxes.  You could be pushing the million-dollar mark just by staying well.  Cut out the cost of the Cokes, and you're adding about $1200 per couple per year to that money pot.  Now you're up around $900K at the end of the term, and you haven't even given up anything except a pop a day.

Not only that, but when you factor in the personal productivity you enjoy when you've got 100% uptime, you've got all that Paid Time Off from your job.  You can use that for vacation instead of lying around recovering from your sniffles.  You might even feel spiffy enough to take on the task of launching a part time business, generating tons of extra cash from a passive income stream.  Those dollars will go a long way when added to your near-million that I've just identified for you.  Yeah, sure, go ahead and thank me.

In a world of crazy schedules and constant pressure to keep up with the Joneses, laze and luxury have become unfortunately linked in the minds of a lot of folks.  Living like a fat cat is not about loosening your ample belt and lounging around in front of the TV with a saucer of ice cream, hand stuffed into your waistband, legs akimbo like some over-indulged domestic feline.  It means making the most of your life while you're livin' it, laughing all the way to the bank regardless of your financial circumstances.  Anyone who is lazy about his health will most certainly kick the bucket all the quicker, and will spend plenty o' dough on band-aids in the meantime.  There's something to the old adage, "When you have your health, you have everything."

Born in London on June 6, 1896, Henry Allingham is now 113 years old - the oldest man in the world.  And when Henry was born, Coca Cola was a patent medicine that had been on the market for just four years - ranked right up there with Absinthe and tape worm diet pills.  You got it - Coke has been "adding life" since 1892.  Gertrude Baines, 115, from Los Angeles is currently the oldest person in the world.  Gertie was born in 1894 - like Henry, just a short time after the dawn of Coke.  Now... it's just a hunch, mind you, but something tells me that neither one of these good folks drinks a whole lot of soda pop.  Ya think?  ...Yeah, like that.

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Jack Schmidt
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Everything for the Big Spender on a Budget

Great post! I live in Texas and each year they try to outdo themselves with the ridiculousness of the fried offerings at the State Fair. Last year, chicken fried bacon took the cake. I still do not understand why it is so difficult for some to embrace that health and eating habits have a relationship with medical expenses with affects savings and general wealth.

People are LAZY and GREEDY in our society. They want to eat whatever they want, and then pay a doctor to get better. They could just live better to start with. I have a really unhealthy old co-worker who has totally let herself go, and she is always eating halfway healthy, and has diabetes. She doesn't care enough to correct her behavior. Bottom line. And, now the cost of health premium has gone up at work. I am subsidizing her crappy lifestyle. Thanks. For. Nothing.